Festive Cheer

Almost Christmas now and I am hugely excited. Ill, but excited. Still, feverish is probably the best state to be in. Feverish and swollen.

Still, just a couple of days to go. Although I will gripe about the endless round of family and motorways, Christmas is my favourite time of year and I will enjoy it immensely. Hurrah! If with less good health and a diminished appetite.

It would be remiss of me to enter the festive season without a small amount of bile and contempt. So I leave you this article to remind everyone that feminism still has a long way to go... As does the war against ignorant morons.

Merry Christmas!

Shocking News!

“Research shows that the bigger allowance you get from Mom and Dad,” explained Andrew M. Sum, director of Northeastern’s center, “the less likely you are to work.”

My God. My value system has been totally shaken.

All the rage

Things that have annoyed me this week:


1) The Miss London-University-my-breasts-are-empowered contests. Gah – how much more self-justification do we need to hear from the contestants/organiser before I’d have a credible case for throttling them with my thermal leggings? My favourite quote comes from the contestant who believes we “are in post-feminism”, as though feminism was a foreign country you could occasionally visit but, to be honest, you wouldn’t really want to live there. Good God, do I really have to explain this – when you’re striding around in underwear thinking “my goodness, having my waist and breasts measured is a jolly good laugh and look how empowered I am” men are *not* thinking “gosh, what a strong woman. I admire and respect her. How empowered she must be!”. They are thinking: “Look at her tits. Quite like to give her a good banging”. So either you’re deluded, or if you think the latter thought *is* empowering, you need therapy. Take your pick. (And I should mention that I have absolutely no problem with telling these women that they’re deluded because – for god’s sake – They Just Are. And they’ve given us sodding empirical evidence that this is the case)

2) David Cameron whinnying about the economy. Does he have any sensible suggestions to make? No? Then Shut Up.

3) Plane Stupid. There is nothing I hate more than obnoxious, middle class teenagers with a huge sense of their own entitlement whining about things and making life more difficult for people who are actually trying to do things, to make themselves feel better. Stop being so immature and actually do something constructive if you’re so worried. I also don’t like this movement as it always seems to be about the middle-classes feeling outraged that poor people actually get to go on holiday. All those people stuck at the airport for days? On easy jet flights. If it was only, you know, *business class* and people going skiing, there wouldn’t be so much pollution, would there? And who else but the trust-funded could afford to take 3 months out to cycle down to Italy for a wedding (which is an actual example from a colleague of guests at her wedding who refuse to fly)?

4) The Times article claiming that parents need to be pushy to make sure that their children do well at University. No, they don’t. They need to get a life. As, presumably, should their poor, over-protected children. No wonder they chain themselves to airport fences.


The general theme here seems to be that *posh* people have this week really pissed me off. One day I will have children that will fall into this category, but I can only promise that I will raise them in such a way that they will never enter beauty contests, become leader of the Conservative party or chain themselves to parts of airports.

Funny Farm

I've been planning lots of long posts in my head at work (although, because I am *very* busy and important, I cannot post from work) but too tired to actually blog once I get home. I'm finding the commute exhausting at the moment - 2hrs each way is a little much, especially as I'm actually expected to work once I arrive - what is that about? Still, I chose to work in the City, so I shouldn't complain. Much. Zombified.

Anyway, after the end of the US elections, it took a little while to remember what I did all day other than sit in my little cubicle crying whilst reading transcripts of Obama speeches. And voting stories. And wondering if I'd have to walk in front of a bus or something if he didn't win, because that would be an indication that the world was terminally fucked (I've seen two accidents involving buses since I started work in the city and it's pretty darn scary). Apparently I used to laugh a lot at right wing loons in the UK.

Heh. Lot of that going round at the moment. What with the whole BNP-membership-reveal etc etc. One of the shocking things was that you could get family membership for £40. What kind of nutcase signs their children up to any political party, let alone a crazy extreme right-wing one? Good grief. I have no sympathy whatsoever for any of them - they don't have to join the BNP, so the very fact that they're now all whining about it being made public suggests they know that they're doing something wrong. Let's face it, it's easier to be a smug bigot when you're going to secret meetings. No, I am all for making political party membership public anyway.

And I hate intolerant racist bigots who blame all their problems on immigration. And then try to claim they're just like everyone else. No, you're not. You're pathetic and delusional.

Grrr.

Friday tomorrow though. Which means *wine*. I am bravely clawing my way through to tomorrow evening, when I shall self-meditate and no doubt drunkenly rant until the wee hours. Or 9.30pm, when exhaustion overwhelms me and I have to go to bed. I am completely lame.

Incredible Happiness

which, incidentally, is what I'm feeling about the results of the US elections.

Hurrah!

Election!

Woo - it's 1am and I'm up watching the US election coverage. Stop dithering about not being able to call states! Come on CNN (sadly we can't get MSNBC, which I'm pretty darn upset about). Man up.

Ooh - MSNBC is rumoured to have called Pennsylvania for Obama. Eek!

The excitement in the Heloise stronghold is palpable. We even had a special electoral tesco trip to get supplies for the long night ahead. The SO believes it will be a landslide for Obama. I'm less sure, mainly because I'm so nervous...

I am hoping for a landslide, as that will allow me to go to bed and actually get some sleep before work. Yeah. Sleep.

Out in the cold

It's not even the end of October and it is snowing. Makes me glad that I crocheted myself an hat at the weekend, although stupidly I did it in a yarn that is a combination of silk, cashmere, lambswool and kid mohair, so getting it wet is probably not a good idea. Does make me want to stroke my head a lot though.

For some reason, I have Bruce Springsteen "Dancing in the Dark" on continuous loop in my head. Why? Not that I have anything against Bruce Springsteen, but really. It's starting to get a little tired.

Comfort Blanket

It is fairly sad that I can cling to the fact that I've shaken the hand of a woman who shook Obama's hand.

Having now read the campaign autobiography, I like to think that the support I feel for Obama has decreased down to manageable levels. I can find policy points where we disagree. I am preparing myself for the fact that if (when?) he becomes President, he will disappoint in some ways.

However, I cannot deny what it would mean to me if he got elected. What he symbolises. To be honest, I wasn't really sure that I'd ever see a black President - and think how little I'm going to be invested in it compared to some.

Hmm. I probably shouldn't blog whilst drunk. Still, if *I* think it's going to be hard to go into work as normal if he loses on Nov 4th, it doesn't really bode well for America...

In other news...

A good article on the return of Peter Mandelson - which I think took most of us by surprise (indeed, my reaction was "WTF?").

Bad things going down in Iceland. The global economic situation just gets more and more terrifying every day. In a surreal way. In the City things seem to have calmed down a bit. I think this is more because the anticipated bad things have actually started to happen (nothing worse than waiting) rather than because things are getting better.

I still have a cold, which seems to be getting worse again. To console myself, I shall go to the farmers market, get sourdough bread, make some chilli (yum - trying to recreate the great chilli I had in the US this summer) and then play WoW until the weather improves enough for me to get a life...

Thanks for the memories

So, we are finally saying goodbye to Ruth Kelly. I cannot say that I am disappointed about this (dancing gleefully on the remains of her political career is more accurate) given that she has had an atrocious record in terms of advancing gender equality and was a shoddy minister for women.

I was a little surprised by the articles springing up around the time of the announcement, darkly proclaiming that her resignation *conclusively proves* that women cannot have a career and a family at the same time. It seems a bit bizarre to draw this conclusion given that:

(1) she's certainly been doing it (and being promoted whilst doing it) for the last ten years or so. I'm sure it is hard to balance having-a-lot-of-children and a high profile career, but she seems to have been managing admirably so far.

(2) Reading between the lines, it looks likely that she jumped before she was pushed - e.g. she and Brown don't get on, she'd have been bumped from the cabinet in the reshuffle anyway so thought about it and decided to pack it in first.

Thinking about the phrase "to spend more time with her family" is a little weird - when men spout it, it is usually a sign that they've fucked something up and/or about to get fired. When women say it, it's seen as a worthy and admirable thing to do. Odd that the same phrase can be interpreted so differently depending on the gender of the individual using it.

Abort! Abort!

Holy Crap - nevermind The Grudge, Bloomberg at the moment is probably the scariest thing I've ever seen. It's red - it's all red, red everywhere... apart from gold! Woo- if only I had some!

On the plus side, I have no savings to lose - hurrah for living beyond my means! On the negative, I do still have a job to lose. Argh (grips face rather like the Scream).

Great graphs though. It feels a bit like a Special Family Emergency. Time for cake and a medicinal whisky.

Breathe, Heloise, Breathe.

Duh...

Sarah Palin is painfully stupid. I just sit there thinking "surely you must be listening to the crap that's coming out of your mouth?"

Holy crap - I mean, my job involves bull-shitting but come on, I can form a coherent sentence. What is the McCain campaign doing? Just give her a sodding script and tell her to nod intelligently every so often. The incompetence beggars belief...

It actually hurts. It's like intellectual piles.

In other news:

But, looks like the debate will go ahead - come on Obama...

Bleugh

Today I am ill, which sucks given that (a) it is really sunny and (b) I was very much looking forward to this weekend. Instead, I've become a mouth-breathing, whiny invalid who is oscillating wildly between whimpering pathetically, being unreasonably angry and getting the urge (and then acting upon it) to clean and sort the house. Joy.

Despite the cold, we ventured out to the farmers market this morning. I feel quite ambivalent towards these trips - yes the farmers market has some nice produce but it also a stadium for the worst kind of Oxford smug-middle-classness. Like the kind that likes dirty feet. And to take five hours to make a decision. It wasn't quite San Francisco, sadly.

Still hating.

The Tina Fey performance on saturday night live was great. Scary, but great. Especially the Bush Doctrine bit. And the part where Hillary nearly batters her to death with part of the podium.

Even better than that (and the fact that Sarah Palin really doesn't have a clue about the Bush doctrine) is the fact that the republican party is trying to spin the event as sexism. Because it portrayed her as "less substantial" than Hillary. Who is also a woman. So they're saying some women are substantial and others are more "superficial". Which is really sexist. Obviously. Because everyone knows - and as I have often pointed out - having a vagina protects you from any intellectual crticism. It's magic like that.

But, no. I think "less substantial" means actually they're taking the piss because... well, she came across as STUPID. And trying to frame that as sexism just makes her come across as *more* stupid (if such a thing is humanly possible). So maybe they ought to just quit.

Red Alert

For once, not a political post! Well, not *directly*. Today, the credit crunch, economic downturn, giant crock of shit, whatever you would like to call it, has got a little bit too exciting. Luckily, I do not work at Lehmans, so I am still gainfully employed. However, it's a bit harder to dismiss the situation as something that won't eventually catch up with me when you see people walking around with their packed-up boxes. Or receive their desperate phone calls. I'm sure it will all blow over eventually... (she says, reaching for a strong drink and some comforting coverage of the US elections)

Why I hate Sarah Palin SO MUCH. SO, SO MUCH.

I can't stand it any longer. I've spent the last week or so growing more and more angry with Sarah Palin.

I started out thinking that she was a bad choice because she is inexperienced. And that I disagreed with her Pro-life stance. Her particularly hard-line pro-life stance that says no abortions even for victims of rape or incest. She also managed to lie in her first speech to the American public. I thought it was patronising to assume that she'd win disgruntled Clinton voters - she'd publicly criticised Hillary for "whining" about complaints of sexism and, also - had I mentioned her pro-life stance? I disliked the fact that when McCain listed her accomplishments, he listed "wife" as the first one. I also disliked it when he called her his "soul mate". And then the revelations - what did the vetting process actually consist of? Google is not difficult to use. At all.

But now, now it feels personal. I hate her. I can't help it. I just cant stand her. Here are a few choice reasons why:

3) She's a swaggering bully. To hide the fact that she has no experience herself, she launches spiteful verbal attacks on others. One could argue that this is the point of elections. I don't think so. She's exactly like some of the individuals I went to school with. Individuals who attack people with worth and talent because they have none of their own.

2) She's racist. That hideous mocking of Obama for being a "community organiser". We all know she means that he's black leader. And actually wants to make a difference. There are other comments too - that are in fact too awful to repeat. She's such a fucking racist that it makes my teeth hurt to think about it. The more she can say those things and have people applaud her, the more those opinions can be repeated loudly in wider society.

1) She hates women. That must be the case. Otherwise, why would she repeat the pitbull joke? Or marry her pregnant teenage daughter to the apparent neanderthal that impregnated her? Or - and this is the most horrible thing I have ever heard - WHY WOULD SHE HAVE SUPPORTED MAKING RAPE VICTIMS PAY FOR THEIR OWN RAPE KITS.

So, for all these reasons, and for all the other reasons that have made my pulse race in anger, I say FUCK YOU, SARAH PALIN. This is not a sexist opinion, nor is it me being a whiny democrat. This is because you're claiming to be achieving something for women when all you're doing is spreading hate and ignorance. This is because I am so disgusted by your behaviour, and the behaviour of your supporters, that it almost makes me want to cry.

Relapse

I shall break my (unofficial) hiatus to say: the world is a terrifying place. Really. Perhaps my unusual interest in the olympics is an attempt to ignore this. Or a result of my work-related exhaustion. Either way.

Guess we're all just waiting to see what happens next...

Pig in the City

Or, rather me in the City. I have decided that, despite early starts/late finishes, I've decided I quite like it there. Its the architecture - where else in the city are so many big, tall, glass/metal structures next to ancient churches? Today, I was especially impressed by the inside-out LLoyds building. Unbelievably awesome. The fact that everyone is rushing around is fine, as I don't like slow-walking people. Begone, meandering fools!

So - no real thoughts. What with the beginning of the New Job and the commencement of the Mega-Daily-Commute, I haven't had much room for thinking. A lame excuse.

One thing I have noticed is the way Nintendo are trying to takeover the world via the Nintendo DS. Not content with testing the intellect, they released the tell-you-what-to-cook game (what? I totally don't get what the point of that is) and now - the "health coach". A computer program to tell you what to eat, when and - as far as I can tell from the TV advert - make women feel bad for disappointing an imaginary health coach. Yeah, great.

Pregnant Pause

I've just watched Juno and although I found it irritating at first, by the end I really liked it. I just wish that they could have treated abortion as a more serious option, rather than a reflexive non-thought. Also, maybe that pregnancy actually tends to involve some sort of hormonal attachment to the would-be-child (although this may not happen to everyone, I assume it happens in the majority of cases) that could make the choice to give up the child for adoption less clear-cut. However, this would make it a completely different film. And I don't think it was handled completely insensitively - Juno's desire to make sure that the home the child went to was perfect seems to embody some of the latter sentiment. As with all these things, it's hard to distinguish between what is an objective reaction and what are my own personal feelings about the subject matter.

Would my parents have reacted so well? Somehow, I doubt it - then again, I could never have gone through the whole adoption process, so my presentation to them might have been different...

The Big Guns

Now for my favourite places to eat outside of Oxford (but close to it...). These are all a bit more expensive but very much worth it.

1) The Goose at Britwell Salome. Recently got its first michelin star (yay!) but happily, the price doesn't seem to have caught up yet. Tastefully decorated gastropub with spectacular food. Sunday is the cheapest day - a good roast, but not much you can do wrong with a roast really. Go on an evening to really get the best out of it. If you have the chance to try the lemon tart for dessert, do not pass it up - it is an almost orgasmic experience. Staff are really friendly and efficient, so no complaints at all.

2) The Old Butchers at Stow-on-the-Wold. Has been a favourite for a few years now and we first went when they were running the Kings Arms pub. Now they have a restaurant but the old regulars still pop in for a drink and a chat. Tasty, varied menu (it changes every day) with a good combination of fish and meat. Laid-back atmosphere - they really enjoy their food and they want you to too. Good on an evening but my favourite time to visit is on a Saturday lunch time for a long, unhurried lunch.

3) The Swan at Tetsworth. The chef used to run the Goose at Britwell Salome before it changed hands (and had a michelin star there himself). Now he runs the restaurant in the back of what is a rather large antiques centre. Eccentrically decorated but in a good way (for example, our table had been an old sewing machine table at one point) with very skillfully cooked food. Portions seem a little small initially, but you do come away full. The only fault would be that the menus don't seem to change that often so you can end up having the same meal twice. Afterwards, you can waddle around the antiques centre until you're ready to drive home...