Friday, February 27, 2009

One more thing

I just watched that completely freaky Justin Timberlake video where he's dating ScarJo and then she cheats on him, then he chases her in his car and then her car blows up and he's standing over her dead body. Whilst smugly singing about "what goes around comes around". What? You can *kill* the person who cheated on you through dangerous driving/obsessive stalking and then say that they had it coming. Because they're a cheating woman. Or they *were* a cheating woman until you turned them into a lifeless corpse. This is a really unhealthy view of women.

I mean, really.

Mr. Timberlake - you are kind of fucked up.

Girls on Film

Here is a good discussion on female characters in chick flicks. I've been thinking about this for a while, not just because of the obvious woman-bashing film that is He's Just Not That Into You. No, I think ever since I saw the train-wreck of a film that was My Super Ex-Girlfriend - possibly one of the WORST films I have ever seen. I almost felt violated.

No, seriously though. It was completely shite and I can't believe Uma actually signed up to it. What was she thinking?? It could have been called "How I hate women and can you believe that at some point I've probably gotten laid?". And I'd be all like, no, really - I can't. Because you repluse me.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Helpful

Just in case having a vagina has made *you* unable to figure out what is appropriate to wear to work. Lucky, because I was planning to wear my bondage suit and gimp mask.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Holy Crap - it's snowing! Cue immediate doom and catastrophe.

The much promised snow has arrived and to celebrate, the whole of the South East has plunged into hysterical chaos. I shit you not. London is carnage - enter at your own risk. Let's face it, if you *do* go in, there is no guarantee you'll ever get out again. Alive. Or at least for a few hours. You'll probably be hungry anyway. And a bit cold.

The day started promisingly. Get to station and find train only 5 minutes late, despite coming in from the Cotswolds, which seems to have some sort of doom-ray effect on train scheduling at the best of times. A commuter comes off the phone - he has discovered that there is No Tube. There is some muttering, people with lap tops look this up. He is fear-mongering - there is Some Tube. Or, to be precise, the Victoria Line. Which is notable because it is *absolutely no use* to 90% of the commuters on the train. But, there are also No Buses. Muttering gets louder and a bit more hysterical. Some people exit the train at the next stop, having happily discovered they don't need to go to work. Then - Paddington station is closed! Oh, the panic! Where will we end up? Stranded at Slough? Luckily, this only refers to the underground, which is pretty helpful. Will have to walk to the City.

Only problem is that I have no idea how to walk to the City. My geography of London only exists through the map of the Underground. Someone helpfully directs me. Should take an hour. Hah! HAAAAH. 45 minutes later, am still delicately tripping along Oxford St as the pavement and roads resemble a giant ice rink. Give up and attempt the central line. Takes another 20mins to get on tube and am wedged into someone's armpit. This, I think cheerfully, is more like a normal day on the central line. Jolly good. Emerge to voicemail from a colleague telling me to give up and go home. At 10am. After an hour and an half of valiant struggling. Apparently colleagues in far away places like Marylebone and Clapham have decided they can't get in. Have small but violent fit outside of the Royal Exchange. Tramp back to tube station in vile mood and narrowly avoid being speared in the eye by icicles falling off the ledges of trendy glass buildings. Spend another 2.5 hours getting home again. Prepare to make same pointless pilgrimage tomorrow.

What is truly wonderful (or terrifying, depending how you look at it) is that everyone else tramping the streets of London is also having a similar experience, so the capital is like somewhere that has been infected by a virus inducing temporary but violent tourette-like outbursts. Awesome.

On the plus side, I took some great photos with my phone of the snowy City. If I could work out how to upload them, I totally would. But, you know. Meh. It's snow. In London. You can imagine it.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Right and Wrong

RIGHT: I've spent the last few days waiting for this and how glad am I that it's finally arrived? Very. In fact, the last few days have been a wondrous magical ride of actual competent policy decisions. Maybe McCain did get elected and I threw myself under a bus after all...

WRONG: This. I am appalled by the actions of the BBC and think it is completely disgusting. We have now donated to the DEC and I suggest you all do the same. Not only as a huge "Fuck you" to the BBC, but because these people really need our help.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Congratulations, Mr. President!

Hurrah!! I'm so unbelievably fucking *happy*.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Business as usual

A sure contender for most pointless, pseudo-scientific, shitty research report of 2009.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Woo - Obama!

Just watched the concert in Washington DC. Obama is so great. Weird moment with "you'll never walk alone" and Bono is just an arse. Other than that, fab.

Just because I know you missed my constant and gratuitous Obama-doration. I like to think of this as a free week. Enjoy.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Bin of One's Own

The Christmas holiday passed in a blur of flu (me), motorway travel (us) and norovirus (the SO's family). Despite this, a good time was - hopefully - had by all and it was a bit of a disappointment to arrive back at work on Monday to an 8am meeting in London. Gah.

Other depressing highlights of the week included:

(1) The deepening of the Gaza conflict. I've made a conscious decision not to write about this on here in any detail - there are other places that people can read more informed opinions and although this has never really stopped me before, this issue is such a minefield I think I should probably stay out of it blogwise. So I shall simply say that I don't support Israel's actions and leave it there.

(2) Discovering that my train ticket had gone up by approx £50 and the Sorry-for-Being-Completely-Shit FGW discount might be about to be scrapped. Apparently there is no punishment for being *merely* shit. You have to be Catastrophically Shit. Entertainingly, having forked out the cash for the ticket, the train then broke down at Reading. Although given it was the Stupidly Early train due to the horrible 8am Monday meeting, I was less than entertained at the time.

(3) Prince Harry. A man whose very existence is depressing enough, but always manages to make things worse whenever he opens his mouth.

(4) Having a desk-move at work and ending up without a bin. It's been a surprise to discover that a bin is actually an office essential for me and I feel bereft without it. How else to dispose of the sneaky chocolate wrappers/lunch receipts/embarrassing fibre supplement wrappers? Now my rubbish lies open to the scrutiny of others as it resides in their bins. And I should mention that one of my members has *already* commented on the rubbish I've put in her bin, so this is not an empty worry - although probably would be less of a problem if the person I was sitting next to was, in fact, sane.

(5) Talking about the interest rate cut at work and having a colleague brightly say "That's why David Cameron is talking about helping savers!" as though he'd single-handedly come up with an idea to save the world and that *if only* he was in power, interest rates would miraculously go up to 4.5% for saving purposes and 0% for mortgage rates. I couldn't really think of an appropriate response that wasn't "WTF??" and it was only the first week in my new team, so I let that one go.

Just got to hold on until Easter now...

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Festive Cheer

Almost Christmas now and I am hugely excited. Ill, but excited. Still, feverish is probably the best state to be in. Feverish and swollen.

Still, just a couple of days to go. Although I will gripe about the endless round of family and motorways, Christmas is my favourite time of year and I will enjoy it immensely. Hurrah! If with less good health and a diminished appetite.

It would be remiss of me to enter the festive season without a small amount of bile and contempt. So I leave you this article to remind everyone that feminism still has a long way to go... As does the war against ignorant morons.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Shocking News!

Research shows that the bigger allowance you get from Mom and Dad,” explained Andrew M. Sum, director of Northeastern’s center, “the less likely you are to work.”

My God. My value system has been totally shaken.

Friday, December 12, 2008

All the rage

Things that have annoyed me this week:


1) The Miss London-University-my-breasts-are-empowered contests. Gah – how much more self-justification do we need to hear from the contestants/organiser before I’d have a credible case for throttling them with my thermal leggings? My favourite quote comes from the contestant who believes we “are in post-feminism”, as though feminism was a foreign country you could occasionally visit but, to be honest, you wouldn’t really want to live there. Good God, do I really have to explain this – when you’re striding around in underwear thinking “my goodness, having my waist and breasts measured is a jolly good laugh and look how empowered I am” men are *not* thinking “gosh, what a strong woman. I admire and respect her. How empowered she must be!”. They are thinking: “Look at her tits. Quite like to give her a good banging”. So either you’re deluded, or if you think the latter thought *is* empowering, you need therapy. Take your pick. (And I should mention that I have absolutely no problem with telling these women that they’re deluded because – for god’s sake – They Just Are. And they’ve given us sodding empirical evidence that this is the case)

2) David Cameron whinnying about the economy. Does he have any sensible suggestions to make? No? Then Shut Up.

3) Plane Stupid. There is nothing I hate more than obnoxious, middle class teenagers with a huge sense of their own entitlement whining about things and making life more difficult for people who are actually trying to do things, to make themselves feel better. Stop being so immature and actually do something constructive if you’re so worried. I also don’t like this movement as it always seems to be about the middle-classes feeling outraged that poor people actually get to go on holiday. All those people stuck at the airport for days? On easy jet flights. If it was only, you know, *business class* and people going skiing, there wouldn’t be so much pollution, would there? And who else but the trust-funded could afford to take 3 months out to cycle down to Italy for a wedding (which is an actual example from a colleague of guests at her wedding who refuse to fly)?

4) The Times article claiming that parents need to be pushy to make sure that their children do well at University. No, they don’t. They need to get a life. As, presumably, should their poor, over-protected children. No wonder they chain themselves to airport fences.


The general theme here seems to be that *posh* people have this week really pissed me off. One day I will have children that will fall into this category, but I can only promise that I will raise them in such a way that they will never enter beauty contests, become leader of the Conservative party or chain themselves to parts of airports.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Funny Farm

I've been planning lots of long posts in my head at work (although, because I am *very* busy and important, I cannot post from work) but too tired to actually blog once I get home. I'm finding the commute exhausting at the moment - 2hrs each way is a little much, especially as I'm actually expected to work once I arrive - what is that about? Still, I chose to work in the City, so I shouldn't complain. Much. Zombified.

Anyway, after the end of the US elections, it took a little while to remember what I did all day other than sit in my little cubicle crying whilst reading transcripts of Obama speeches. And voting stories. And wondering if I'd have to walk in front of a bus or something if he didn't win, because that would be an indication that the world was terminally fucked (I've seen two accidents involving buses since I started work in the city and it's pretty darn scary). Apparently I used to laugh a lot at right wing loons in the UK.

Heh. Lot of that going round at the moment. What with the whole BNP-membership-reveal etc etc. One of the shocking things was that you could get family membership for £40. What kind of nutcase signs their children up to any political party, let alone a crazy extreme right-wing one? Good grief. I have no sympathy whatsoever for any of them - they don't have to join the BNP, so the very fact that they're now all whining about it being made public suggests they know that they're doing something wrong. Let's face it, it's easier to be a smug bigot when you're going to secret meetings. No, I am all for making political party membership public anyway.

And I hate intolerant racist bigots who blame all their problems on immigration. And then try to claim they're just like everyone else. No, you're not. You're pathetic and delusional.

Grrr.

Friday tomorrow though. Which means *wine*. I am bravely clawing my way through to tomorrow evening, when I shall self-meditate and no doubt drunkenly rant until the wee hours. Or 9.30pm, when exhaustion overwhelms me and I have to go to bed. I am completely lame.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Incredible Happiness

which, incidentally, is what I'm feeling about the results of the US elections.

Hurrah!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Election!

Woo - it's 1am and I'm up watching the US election coverage. Stop dithering about not being able to call states! Come on CNN (sadly we can't get MSNBC, which I'm pretty darn upset about). Man up.

Ooh - MSNBC is rumoured to have called Pennsylvania for Obama. Eek!

The excitement in the Heloise stronghold is palpable. We even had a special electoral tesco trip to get supplies for the long night ahead. The SO believes it will be a landslide for Obama. I'm less sure, mainly because I'm so nervous...

I am hoping for a landslide, as that will allow me to go to bed and actually get some sleep before work. Yeah. Sleep.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Out in the cold

It's not even the end of October and it is snowing. Makes me glad that I crocheted myself an hat at the weekend, although stupidly I did it in a yarn that is a combination of silk, cashmere, lambswool and kid mohair, so getting it wet is probably not a good idea. Does make me want to stroke my head a lot though.

For some reason, I have Bruce Springsteen "Dancing in the Dark" on continuous loop in my head. Why? Not that I have anything against Bruce Springsteen, but really. It's starting to get a little tired.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Comfort Blanket

It is fairly sad that I can cling to the fact that I've shaken the hand of a woman who shook Obama's hand.

Having now read the campaign autobiography, I like to think that the support I feel for Obama has decreased down to manageable levels. I can find policy points where we disagree. I am preparing myself for the fact that if (when?) he becomes President, he will disappoint in some ways.

However, I cannot deny what it would mean to me if he got elected. What he symbolises. To be honest, I wasn't really sure that I'd ever see a black President - and think how little I'm going to be invested in it compared to some.

Hmm. I probably shouldn't blog whilst drunk. Still, if *I* think it's going to be hard to go into work as normal if he loses on Nov 4th, it doesn't really bode well for America...

Sunday, October 05, 2008

In other news...

A good article on the return of Peter Mandelson - which I think took most of us by surprise (indeed, my reaction was "WTF?").

Bad things going down in Iceland. The global economic situation just gets more and more terrifying every day. In a surreal way. In the City things seem to have calmed down a bit. I think this is more because the anticipated bad things have actually started to happen (nothing worse than waiting) rather than because things are getting better.

I still have a cold, which seems to be getting worse again. To console myself, I shall go to the farmers market, get sourdough bread, make some chilli (yum - trying to recreate the great chilli I had in the US this summer) and then play WoW until the weather improves enough for me to get a life...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Thanks for the memories

So, we are finally saying goodbye to Ruth Kelly. I cannot say that I am disappointed about this (dancing gleefully on the remains of her political career is more accurate) given that she has had an atrocious record in terms of advancing gender equality and was a shoddy minister for women.

I was a little surprised by the articles springing up around the time of the announcement, darkly proclaiming that her resignation *conclusively proves* that women cannot have a career and a family at the same time. It seems a bit bizarre to draw this conclusion given that:

(1) she's certainly been doing it (and being promoted whilst doing it) for the last ten years or so. I'm sure it is hard to balance having-a-lot-of-children and a high profile career, but she seems to have been managing admirably so far.

(2) Reading between the lines, it looks likely that she jumped before she was pushed - e.g. she and Brown don't get on, she'd have been bumped from the cabinet in the reshuffle anyway so thought about it and decided to pack it in first.

Thinking about the phrase "to spend more time with her family" is a little weird - when men spout it, it is usually a sign that they've fucked something up and/or about to get fired. When women say it, it's seen as a worthy and admirable thing to do. Odd that the same phrase can be interpreted so differently depending on the gender of the individual using it.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Abort! Abort!

Holy Crap - nevermind The Grudge, Bloomberg at the moment is probably the scariest thing I've ever seen. It's red - it's all red, red everywhere... apart from gold! Woo- if only I had some!

On the plus side, I have no savings to lose - hurrah for living beyond my means! On the negative, I do still have a job to lose. Argh (grips face rather like the Scream).

Great graphs though. It feels a bit like a Special Family Emergency. Time for cake and a medicinal whisky.

Breathe, Heloise, Breathe.